Got a serious case of Baby Fever today... cannot stop thinking about how excited and anxious I am to get started with this IVF process so I can be pregnant with my dream daughter! Not sure I can even stand the month long wait I have left before my IVF consultation!!! Let alone another 4 months or so after that! I really want to get started ASAP! Kinda glad I pushed my consult to the end of July b/c if it were sooner I would probably be wanting to get pg even sooner than I physically can already! Geez! The good thing is that I think my DH is willing to CONSIDER bumping up our start date. Not sure how much sooner he is willing to get started, but I hope we are on the same page when it comes that time that I cannot stand to wait any longer!
I think getting my cycle back has added fuel to the fire. Knowing that I was ovulating last week for the first time in 2 years was a really emotional experience. I was excited to know that I am fertile again. Bummed to know AF will be coming to visit in 2 weeks. And nostalgic knowing that the last time I ovulated I became pregnant with my DS! What a miraculous time that was! The last OPKs I peed on before the ones last week were the ones that helped me conceive my amazing son. So special! So emotional!
Kinda makes me wonder what this egg would have become had I "fertilized" it! lol. Maybe it would have been a girl! And all of this IVF planning would have been pointless. Maybe I would have gotten my dream daughter without all the pain and money that IVF costs! Geez. This process is full of "what ifs".
I hope I can stand to wait a little longer before starting IVF!!!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Another Pregnancy Dream!
Only this time I got pregnant naturally on accident and all I remember was crying my eyes out feeling "sure" it was a boy again. I remember being mad that we got pregnant naturally b/c we were planning to do PGD and now we couldn't!
Well, when I woke up, I freaked out a little (b/c since I'm still breastfeeding I have yet to have a period) and so I POAS to make sure I'm not having pregnancy dreams b/c I'm actually pregnant. Whew. It was a negative (BFN!). Thank goodness! Not that we have not been "careful", but not having had a period in 2 years makes me always a little nervous.
On the IVF front-- We cannot decide on a permanent "start date". As I've mentioned we started out saying February 2012. Then we bumped it up to December 2011. Now I am not sure. Some days I am sooo excited and anxious and want to start ASAP, but then some days I fear I might rush into it and I want to wait until December again.
The only thing that is for certain is that our consultation is July 29th. After that we will just have to see what we really feel like doing. Whatever feels right. I'm not sure what that is today, but I hope I will know soon.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Excited!
Just wanted to update and say that there really isn't anything TO update!!! Getting SUPER excited about my consult with RBA next month!!! I know it is a small step, but it is our first official step towards getting IVF for our baby girl!!! I am still waiting to get my period back since breastfeeding my son, and I don't know how pre-testing works, but I might need to have a normal cycle before getting all my bloodwork and tests done. However, I am SO excited to get all my pre-testing work done and see results to see whether or not I am going to be a good IVF candidate! As early as I am allowed I will be pre-testing!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
6 months!!
Today is June 1st, which means December, and the month I start my GS IVF journey, is in only 6 months!!! I am soooo excited to get the journey started, but there is so much living to enjoy in the meantime!! I am loving watching my DS grow & learn new things! I do not wish the time away, but it is still fun to look forward to my dream girl!!!
Only 6 more months!!!!!
And less than 2 months until my consultation with Dr. T @ RBA!!! =)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
First Consultation Booked!!!!
We booked our first consultation! Dr. T at RBA on July 29th!!! It's only a 6 hr drive so we're gonna go meet him in person so we can also get a look at the clinic and the area. I know it is 2 months away but I am soooo excited! It's the first step in something I've been excited about for months now!!!
I am not sure how long it takes to get in for a consult at the other 2 places I'm interested in, so I might need to call them soon, too!! I'm just trying to wait until July to move along bc I do not want to rush Jay and overwhelm him. I know he is super nervous about this process so I am trying to respect his opinions. Plus I want to wait until DS's birthday is over bc there is soooo much on my plate with finishing up this party!!! It's going to be awesome!!!
Anyway, it might seem tiny and insignificant to some, but having a consultation on the books means a huge deal to me!!! Soooo excited!!!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Might Move Up Start Date
So we had picked February 2012 as our "start date" for IVF simply based on due dates (I do not want another summer due date-- would love a late fall/early winter due date) and DS's age (we wanted him to be around 2 1/2 when DD is born). However, now that we are starting to plan our IVF cycle in more detail, we were thinking about a good time for Jay to take time off from work.
He works for a university, so he gets 2 weeks off between Christmas and New Years-- perfect time for us to cycle IF (key word IF) the IVF clinic we choose works through holidays. Wouldn't it be horrible luck if I need to have an ER (Embryo Retrieval) or ET (Embryo Transfer) on New Year's Eve and nobody was there to perform it!!! So if they work (and I'm not talking ON Christmas or New Years-- although having someone on-call at that time would be pretty mandatory I think) during these 2 weeks then that would be our BEST time to cycle for Jay to be able to come with me.
If that does not work for the IVF clinic, we might have to wait until March to cycle (or if that cycle fails we might have to wait until March for cycle #2). Jay doesn't get spring break off, but he could more easily take time off. And then if that cycle fails, we would probably have to wait until May (another time that is easy to take off since university students have a break between spring classes and summer classes).
So tentatively, as of today (it changes so often), we are planning it out this way:
Cycle #1: December
Cycle #2: March
Cycle #3: May
I think we have set a maximum to 3 cycles (for monetary reasons), so if these all fail, then I guess it's back to the natural bump-and-grind and cross your fingers for a girl. Yikes! But I don't want to think about that just yet.
As for the IVF clinic we are going to chose I am starting to narrow down my list. I called RBA in Atlanta and tried to schedule a consult with Dr. Toledo in July, but they are only booking June right now, so I am supposed to call back in June to schedule a July consultation. I am also planning to consult with Dr. Potter at HRC in California, but it would make our co$t$ go way up to travel so far. I would LOVE to use him as I feel he might be the best in the business, but money might restrict that. I MIGHT also consult with a local RE in town that performs IVF for GS, but I am not sure I would feel comfortable putting so much trust in a RE I know nothing about and haven't heard any success (or failure) stories from ladies on GenderDreaming.com. So for now those are the 3 I am going to schedule consults with. Might schedule more if I do not like any of these 3, so we shall see.
If are do start in December, that bumps up our 6 month countdown to June!!! Basically 2 weeks!!! I was always planning to start consultations 6 months from our expected start date, but for some reason June seems too soon to start consults, so I am working on scheduling them for July.
Well, those are all the updates for now!!! I can't believe we MIGHT be bumping up our start date by 2 months!!! This really gets me excited!!! I hope it works out!!!
He works for a university, so he gets 2 weeks off between Christmas and New Years-- perfect time for us to cycle IF (key word IF) the IVF clinic we choose works through holidays. Wouldn't it be horrible luck if I need to have an ER (Embryo Retrieval) or ET (Embryo Transfer) on New Year's Eve and nobody was there to perform it!!! So if they work (and I'm not talking ON Christmas or New Years-- although having someone on-call at that time would be pretty mandatory I think) during these 2 weeks then that would be our BEST time to cycle for Jay to be able to come with me.
If that does not work for the IVF clinic, we might have to wait until March to cycle (or if that cycle fails we might have to wait until March for cycle #2). Jay doesn't get spring break off, but he could more easily take time off. And then if that cycle fails, we would probably have to wait until May (another time that is easy to take off since university students have a break between spring classes and summer classes).
So tentatively, as of today (it changes so often), we are planning it out this way:
Cycle #1: December
Cycle #2: March
Cycle #3: May
I think we have set a maximum to 3 cycles (for monetary reasons), so if these all fail, then I guess it's back to the natural bump-and-grind and cross your fingers for a girl. Yikes! But I don't want to think about that just yet.
As for the IVF clinic we are going to chose I am starting to narrow down my list. I called RBA in Atlanta and tried to schedule a consult with Dr. Toledo in July, but they are only booking June right now, so I am supposed to call back in June to schedule a July consultation. I am also planning to consult with Dr. Potter at HRC in California, but it would make our co$t$ go way up to travel so far. I would LOVE to use him as I feel he might be the best in the business, but money might restrict that. I MIGHT also consult with a local RE in town that performs IVF for GS, but I am not sure I would feel comfortable putting so much trust in a RE I know nothing about and haven't heard any success (or failure) stories from ladies on GenderDreaming.com. So for now those are the 3 I am going to schedule consults with. Might schedule more if I do not like any of these 3, so we shall see.
If are do start in December, that bumps up our 6 month countdown to June!!! Basically 2 weeks!!! I was always planning to start consultations 6 months from our expected start date, but for some reason June seems too soon to start consults, so I am working on scheduling them for July.
Well, those are all the updates for now!!! I can't believe we MIGHT be bumping up our start date by 2 months!!! This really gets me excited!!! I hope it works out!!!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Dream
I guess all of the drama yesterday with finding out my friend is having a girl was fresh on my mind last night b/c it leaked over into my dream state and I had a wonderful dream!!!
I dreamed that I was pregnant with twin girls!!! I even got to have them in my dream and see their tiny faces!!! They were freaky looking but it was just a dream and of course my subconscious has no idea what my baby girl(s) will look like! I remember being scared about having twins, but happy to finally have my baby girl(s!!!)
I remember in my dream being excited about the girls but confused b/c I only had one embryo transfered. HA! Even in my dreams I know what I want to do in the future. And the weirdest part was that they were not identical-- so they were 2 different babies. That is practically impossible with a SET! Maybe if they were identical it would have meant that the one egg I transfered split in the process, but I remember definitely that they were not identical b/c they looked different and I even questioned the "HOW" in my dream. lol
Anyhoo... it was just nice to live in a world for even a second that I was euphoric... Had my beautiful son and 2 beautiful baby girls... Awww.... if only...
I dreamed that I was pregnant with twin girls!!! I even got to have them in my dream and see their tiny faces!!! They were freaky looking but it was just a dream and of course my subconscious has no idea what my baby girl(s) will look like! I remember being scared about having twins, but happy to finally have my baby girl(s!!!)
I remember in my dream being excited about the girls but confused b/c I only had one embryo transfered. HA! Even in my dreams I know what I want to do in the future. And the weirdest part was that they were not identical-- so they were 2 different babies. That is practically impossible with a SET! Maybe if they were identical it would have meant that the one egg I transfered split in the process, but I remember definitely that they were not identical b/c they looked different and I even questioned the "HOW" in my dream. lol
Anyhoo... it was just nice to live in a world for even a second that I was euphoric... Had my beautiful son and 2 beautiful baby girls... Awww.... if only...
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